Aloha Hash House Harriers Trail # 1699
Erections 2023 Hash
Mānana Ridge Trailhead
Hares: Laa-Laa, Hello Shaved Kitty, All You Need is Head, Parallel Porking, Trail Taco
So there I was…
Celebrating Aloha’s 32nd birthday, Erections (another event that happens anally) and the serendipitous occurrence of 69 in the trail number. Giggity giggity.
As instructed by one of our hares, Hello Shaved Kitty, we arrived in the neighborhood and parked in one of the few spaces that residents hadn’t blocked off with cones. We then began the Tolkien-lengh journey to On-Start where other hashers were beginning to gather.
As Hello Shaved Kitty set off to lay trail, Nocturnal Mission led us all in a rousing round of “Days of the Week” where we were suspiciously observed by a neighbor enjoying the (previously peaceful) Saturday on his lanai. Energized and excited to punish ourselves, we set off in search of the hares and of course, the beer.
We proceeded into the park and gathered quite a thirst as we hiked the oh, so steep, treacherous and not at all paved path. At the 1.5 mile mark, we rounded the bend to find Laa-Laa and Trail Taco awaiting us with cold beer, which we happily slurped before heading back the way we came. Eagles set out to the next beer check and the rest of us wanks waved to them and rejoiced in our choice to be lazy instead.
Back at the trailhead, (who said head?) we reconvened and grabbed a quick beverage before packing up and discreetly moving the revelry to inside the park.
Along the way, a few of us had the chance to talk story with a sweet little aunty out for a holoholo and hear all about how she would hike to the water tower in her younger days. I’ll bet she would have been one hell of a hasher.
When we arrived at the chosen spot, we noticed a single white rose placed carefully in a bush and ashes that had been freshly scattered along the ridge. We were careful to respect both spaces and shortly after circle commenced, we paused for a moment of silence to pay tribute to our honorary attendee.
That’s when the true revelry commenced. Taking the D for a B, our outgoing RA, led us in Circle one last time as we enjoyed tasty beverages and rehashed the trail. In honor of Aloha’s 32nd birthday, there were delicious cupcakes passed around and commemorative shots of Fireball guzzled.
We had visitors, transplants, multiple virgins at our hash and saw several faces that only cum around once in a blue moon. There were several pups and one pissy pussy who joined us, as well.
Just Jesse celebrated his 6th Aloha hash and received a nice, refreshing flossing.
Like any good trail, we had hashers go for a roll in the hay (er, bush) or suffer the occasional ash ingestion (because sometimes, in the heat the moment, it’s ok to go ash to mouth.) What can I say? We hashers like it dirty.
A fair amount of fingering occurred with slightly less rebutthole since we knew there were other matters to attend.
Finally, a new (well, mostly new) batch of half-minds were erected into the 2023-2024 Aloha Hash House Harriers Misman. Huzzah!
Your newest masters of debauchery are:
CO-GMs: Double Dipped Tip & Hello Shaved Kitty
RA: ThunderDrunk
HareRaiser / SongMeister: Titless
HashCash: Wet and Dirty
HashFlash: Nocturnal Mission
BeerMeister / Soda: 2 Knuckles, WhoreN, & Crazy WhoreEZ.
Pau Hana Princess: Torque
Scribe: Geck Ho
Hab: Double Dipped Tip
Fun(ds) Police: Seamonator & PI
Events Manager: ThighMaster
Soon after the erection, circle closed, the pack scattered and a few of us met for On-Afters at Buffalo Wild Wings for one last hurrah with Sea Queef Pee Oh and Coldplay. More delicious beer was imbibed and a few of us sampled their hottest sauce. Those who dared try it with me, I salute you. Those who did not, you are wise beyond measure.
Once again, in addition to the big erection, there was a trail, there were hashers, and most of all, there was beer. I’d say that Trail # 1699 was a success!