Aloha Hash House Harriers # 1703
The Rainbow Pride Hash
Hares: All You Need Is Head and Manshatten Project
So, there I was…
We arrived with rainbows on, donning sparkle-laden lashes and rocking some seriously impressive ‘staches. There were frilly tutus and fabulous frames that would make even Sir Elton swoon. Truly, loves, we were quite the spectacle. We should be, after all. As we were carefully curating our ensembles, we asked ourselves, “Do I wear my fringed vest? Or, more importantly, do I wear anything under it?” The answer, of course, was a resounding YES to the first question and a no to the second.
As we celebrated our gorgeous getups, boozy Rainbow Shots ensued. While savoring our sweet jiggly treats, (Jell-O, I’m drunk!) I heard a chorus of “You smell very flammable right now.” At one point, I even uttered, “I can’t feel my tongue. But I know it’s there because I’m talking.” Then again, is there any other way for a Jello-O shot to be but bursting with booze? I think not.
We thanked our beloved hares for the pre-game buzz and bid them adieu as Chalk Talk commenced. After, we gathered along the canal and did our best to not fall in while posing for the pre-trail picture. (Success!) Soon enough, we were off in search of the hares!
The eagles had a lengthy 3-mile swagger to their first beverage check, where they found Laa-Laa getting in his steps in on the exercise bike. They enjoyed a European sampler pack before heading to Manshatten’s.
We Turkeys, however, only needed to strut a short before arriving. As we were enjoying the delightful domestic fare, several of us began discussing beer and how for some, it’s just not something they want in their mouth.
PI: “Ya know, there are the three things that are an acquired taste: beer, pizza, and opera.”
Me: “Scotch.”
White Boy: “…and eating ass.” (Touche.)
That elicited a chortle (and maybe a spit-take or two) before we polished off our beverages and took off to find the Extra Credit checks.
We made our way through the sea of ABC Stores and quickly found the first EC check, located just below a delightful bookstore. A handful of hashers took the chance to grab a brew, but it was a bit crowded, so several of us opted to proceed to the next establishment. To our delight, we found our glorious respite upstairs at a cozy club nearby and we were greeted with a huge smile and warm welcome. Let me tell you, those Big Waves tasted way better than any dazzling peach cral-bapple.
As we sat and enjoyed the frosty beers, we were gifted with special Pride koozies. A couple of us even received snazzy wayfarers. (Sorry, not sharing. It’s my turn to take a selfish!) We finished our refreshments, thanked our gracious hosts and took off to show the others our sweet, sweet swag.
Along the way, there were yellow painted feet on the ground, and we couldn’t resist the urge to customize them with a cheerful On-On!
At the next beverage check, we found Head, who was waiting with another delightful course of Rainbow shots. As we enjoyed our jiggly treats, we encountered a wayward Aussie named Lucy, who was wandering Waikiki and feeling a bit lonely. Despite her proclaiming, “I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now,” we invited her into the fold with the promise of Jell-O shots and Aloha, which she gratefully accepted. Soon, we managed to turn that frown into a rainbow and she even opened a video chat with her pal back home to join in the revelry!
Somehow, we got lucky with no big crowds to push through that day; just friendly faces and jubilant times. All along the way, we heard cries of “Happy pride!” and people gushing over everyone’s dashing duds. Claps and cheers erupted from cars and everyone we encountered was just full of Aloha. Love that journey for me!
We began making our way back along the canal and finally happened upon the Naughty Check. Now, I don’t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as “up for anything.” That said, darlings, let’s remember that when someone tells you to be gentle, don’t go giving it your biggest whack. That’s a real quick no. (For reals, consent.) That thing still smarted the next day.
We limped our way back and we spent a few moments regaling one another with our misadventures and enjoying some seriously unbelievable brownies.
Circle commenced and several hashers were called out for deviating to scout for the next week (shame, shame). Although they tried to beg forgiveness, the kennel responded with a resounding, “I’m very uninterested in that opinion.” Others arrived to Circle without finding trail, so they enjoyed a Down-Down as well.
Before Circle came to a close, Head took a moment to thank everyone for coming out to support Pride and for making it such an incredible event. Of course, we would have it no other way, so we rushed in with a massive group hug.
We dispersed and then made our way to the On-Afters location, where the parking situation was dicey, at best. Inside, there were even signs warning about being towed, so we gave the others a heads up and crossed our fingers they could find a spot. We then learned that the kitchen was closed, but they told us we could bring in Burger King. (Not sure how that’s a win, but we still hoped it would all work out.) Discouraged, but determined, Nasty Gash ran next door and returned with not only our orders, but a shiny, new Boo crown cocked proudly atop his head. When others also brought back Burger King but returned crownless, he called them out, one by one. (Would we call that pretentious…or timeless?) Sadly, the beer was as disappointing as the parking situation and food. (Ew, King!) It almost made me want to order another glass of Herb Erfling … ger. Burt Herngeif. Irv Herb-blinger. Yeah, maybe not. Hey, at least we got to enjoy the company!
Not to mention, there was glitter. There were sparkles. There were enough rainbows to fill an entire bowl of Lucky Charms. We tasted the rainbow of Jell-O shots and brought Aloha to all we encountered in Waikiki.
What can I say? It was simply the best!
Best wishes, warmest regards,
-Gex