Aloha Hash House Harriers # 1705
The Teenee Weenee and Crazy Whorez on the Westside Hash!
Hares: Crazy Whorez, Teenee Weenee and Just Joeeth
So there I was…
Now, going to the Westside! Even though it was in Waianae, hashers came from all over Oahu, because like Montell knows, the party is here on the Westside! Everyone had been deprived of a Teenee Weenee Trail for far too long and we couldn’t wait to see where it would lead. The GPS almost led us to Schofield, but luckily the link pointed to True Trail.
We gathered at the far end of the beach park and awaited instructions from the hares. Chalk Talk consisted of sharing that our marks would be laid with beer cans (Natty Light only), drywall and beach mandala. Then, we were told that there would be three Trails- Eagle, Turkey and Chicken, and that each would require a ride to the start. Eastside to the Westside, pushin’ phat rides, it’s no surprise that half the pack decided to play it safe and take the Chicken route.
While awaiting departure, Hash Flash grabbed a quick group photo and then we loaded up the vehicles. Like any good B to A, we piled into the back of a truck, held in for dear life and tried our best not to unalive ourselves. Our vehicle was a bit overloaded and I found myself folded like a chicken taco. Mmmmmm, tacos…
Chickens were dropped at the trailhead below the Pillbox, so all we had to do was make our way up the short climb before enjoying a beer with Crazy Whorez. The Eagles were dropped at the adjacent trailhead and carefully made their way up the other cliff to the Pillbox to join them. Trail wasn’t marked after the Trailheads at all, but there were old shreds of TP under a rock that the hare can take credit for.
At the Pillbox, there were believable views, serene stacks of rocks and Zen murals to take in. Better than the vista was the sight of Nocturnal 2.0, who was actually mistaken for the legend himself. Some of us missed out on the pleasure of meeting him, but seeing the two side-by-side in photos was a bit surreal. (Will the real Nocturnal please stand up?)
While the others were up on the Pillbox enjoying the views, a few of us had adventures of our own and found an alternate Beverage Check. We spotted the hare as we exited the Trailhead, so Titless and Nasty Gash purchased an overpriced “juice” to give Teenee a bigger head start. Then, we followed the arrows through the neighborhood and eventually spotted True Trail.
That’s when the marks dropped off again, with nary a Natty Light, until the intersection at a half-buried tunnel. Well played, Teenee, well-played. It was at that point where we spotted the hare (and truck) again, so we knew we were close.
When we arrived, Teenee was setting out and Just Dave offered us an icy brew and ducked back into the truck to get out of the sun and take a nap.
As we sipped our beers under what little shade we could find, we encountered a bunch of neighbors in a truck who just weren’t feelin us. (Shocker!) Apparently, we didn’t have much flavor? Hey, say what you want about Natty Light, but they were cold and refreshing.
While relishing our beer, we could spot all the tiny little dots making their way the mountain and figured we’d wait for the pack since they couldn’t be that far behind. Or could they?
First to arrive was Major Fuckup, followed shortly by Pity Channel, who had taken a faceplant on Trail and gashed his knee. Sadly, they’d just missed out on making friends with the neighbors, but we grabbed another beer so they wouldn’t have to drink alone.
Bored, we took a closer look at our surroundings and spotted three ChapSticks but only one cap. What, exactly, would one do with all those balms and why would there be missing caps? Intrigued and wanting answers, we looked to see if they were around somewhere, but came up short. We did end up finding Trail treasure in the form of actual sidewalk chalk, so we put it to good use and laid marks of own. I have to say, that chalk outline of Major Fuckup was one to be admired. (Also, congratulations, sir!) All that work had made us quite thirsty, so off we went to grab another beer. At that point, we were kinda buzzed and it was all because we had nothing better to do than drink Natty’s and keep up community relations. Cheers!
It wasn’t long before the rest of the pack made their way to the Beer Check, so they joined us for a quick one before heading On-Home. We made our way through back alleys, dodged road kill and hopped a few fences before finally reaching the beach.
As we waited for Circle to commence, we enjoyed the sunset and debated if it was actually possible to see the green flash with all the surrounding clouds. (Many said it wouldn’t happen, but Crazy Whorez saw it!)
Soon it was time to begin, so Hello Shaved Kitty opened Circle and welcomed everyone. There were Virgins, visitors, and even a few returners that had been away for so long that several of us hadn’t even met them yet. ThunderDrunk led the Centurions in a demonstration of how to do a proper Down-Down and then had the virgins follow suit. The hares tipped up their cup and threw their hands up for the lack of marks on Trail and the confusion at Chalk Talk. Always there to lend a hand (or a couple knuckles, anyhow), 2 Knuckles Deep stepped in as Stunt Liver for the absent hare. That out of the way, it was time for the revelry to begin!
Sack Attack was hashing with Aloha for the 6th time, so he was properly flossed with a green streamer. (One of us! One of us!) Just Bex, Nasty Gash and I each received honors with pink.
As we were finishing and Circle was closed, there was no light left. Crazy Whorez was hosting On-Afters and was graciously grilling, so many of the pack took off to grab a bite. Others had a long drive ahead and said, “We gotta bag it up, we out.”
There were few items left behind in the dark, so we grabbed what we could see and let everyone know what was rescued. White Boy posted that he had Crazy Whorez’ shoes and socks and said the socks would be laundered, but said the shoes might drink a beer. (Can’t wait to see how that one turns out.)
Despite the wayward directions and absent Trail marks, not a single hasher was lost. The beers were cold and plentiful and as always, a fabulous time was had by all. No diggity!
-Gex(N-Effect)