Aloha H3 #1721
The Bizarro Hash
Hares: Taking the D and ThunderDrunk
So, there I was…
As we arrived at the park, the lot we were meeting at was full of traffic notices. Most of the area would be closed off at 7 P.M., but some were by 3 P.M. As we looked around, we noticed work crews scaling the street lights or driving trucks in. One truck drove by and bore the logo of a film studio owned by the mouse and we quickly realized they were erecting a movie set. Well, we had until 7, so we just carried on with our plan. That Lilo kid could wait because we had a Hash to get to!
Our Tyrant, Taking the D, presented each of us with carefully-curated sticky name tags for each of us boasting our Bizarro names. As this was ass-backwards, Circle was the first manner of business and it was run in reverse. As we began, Thunder walked around pouring shots of Kinky Aloha, which tasted unbelievably amazing.
Love fest that it was, we only rendered honors instead of accusations. Taking the D honored Laa-Laa and Trail Taco for taking him in when he arrived 2 years ago. I honored Digging for her sheer hilarity on the Pink Lingerie Run Trail and Taking the D honored her for teaching him about ROCKS. Lac was honored for not only his immense knowledge, but also for smuggling Laa-Laa on and off base in Bahrain. Of course, I also had to honor Taking the D for his chivalry pushing the Gex Wagon around for RDR and the RDR Hares for their undeniably awesome, yet memory-dissolving antics.
During this time, the film crew was trying to construct the set right in the middle of Circle. They were erecting massive poles all around, setting lights and even dressing the background with dozens of potted trees. I stepped out and made peace and let them know we’d speed things along, but they said we were fine. Well, they regretted that decision quickly, because the songs were about to happen. The poor crew stood around awkwardly as we sang our finest Hashy debauchery until we could sing no more.
Once we’d embarrassed them enough, we welcomed returners, visitors and even a new transplant! Then Circle was closed. (Or should I say opened?) Thanks to the love fest that was RDR, a huge chunk of Aloha H3 was quarantining or recovering at home, so attendance wasn’t as strong as usual, but we more than made up for it with our enthusiasm. We managed to get most of us together for a quick group photo (thanks, Sheep!) and then the hares were away!
After several minutes, we set out after them. Trail was through the park and along the water, which offered splendid views of the waves and feral cats who frolicked on the ROCKS above. In total, it was less than a mile, but there were 2 stops! The first (unmanned) Beverage Check offered a tasty pineapple mimosa, then Bud Light with Thunder at the next. Since Circle had already taken place at the beginning, it was then straight on to On-Afters!
Once we arrived, we enjoyed delish flatbread, Mac and cheese and crafty IPAs. Solid service, solid tunes. A true highlight was how one of the bartenders leaned into his strong resemblance to Mr. T., complete with hawk and facial hair. I pity the fool who messes with that guy.
Just as we were beginning to wrap things up, we did the most Bizarro “Thing” of all. What had happened was… This being the Bizarro Hash, nothing was off the table. Our Tyrant had also made a few nametags for visitors – Thing #1, Thing #2 and Thing #3. Before Circle, our solo unnamed Transplant was given “Thing # 1.” Double Dipped Tip proclaimed that Thing # 1 was indeed a “Hash name” since it was written on a name tag just like everyone else. Thus, since he technically had a Hash name, it would become permanent and he would henceforth be known as Thing #1. Huzzah!
There was no possible way of topping this and the film crew was unloading ginormous semis in the parking lot at this point, so off we went to rescue them from involuntarily becoming part of the set. (In hindsight, we needn’t have worried. All we’d need to do was have Lac smuggle them out of the parking lot!)
That’s a wrap!
-Lizzard Slut