Hash Trash Aloha H3 # 1732
The Muumuu Hash
Hares: All You Need is Head, Yukon Yak and ManShatten Project
So, there I was…
As we made the turn onto the street where the Pack was gathered, we were pleasantly surprised to see such a colorful array of muumuus. Everyone had understood the assignment and were adorned in their finest Mee-maw-chic. (This is the second-best idea that we’ve ever had!)
Soon enough it was time for Chalk Talk. The Hares promised us a very wet Trail and assured a sweet surprise for all the moms. We blew off the Hares and stuck around to give them a head (who said head?) start.
We took a quick group photo and then the Pack was away! The Pack headed out and made our way though the neighborhood and followed the marks, with a sneaking suspicion of where we were headed.
Sure enough, the chalk pointed up the hill and into the complex of Head and Yukon. Just as we were nearing the top of the hill, we saw a couple wanks taking a shortcut from the road and giving a doggo an underhand toss to the top. The miscalculated fling was about 6 feet too short, so the poor pup took a hard fall on their back and somehow shook off the yeeting like a pro.
Once we made it to the Check, we saw a sea of muumuu-clad wanks gathered near Head’s truck, quenching their thirst. He generously provided champagne and the most incredible blood orange mimosas for all the moms, which we gratefully imbibed.
We also got a surprise appearance by the wee one when Puddles came outside to say hello. (Many Mahalo’s to Puddles for stepping in and giving the moms a chance to Hash kid-free!) Soon enough, it was time to send the Pack back on their way.
Just after they had left the parking lot, Head got a call that a few were already lost due to missing marks in the complex. We drove right over and found a good chunk of the Pack who were temporarily delayed. They were pointed in the right direction and soon back on Trail, where they continued into the stream, climbed over massive ROCKS and visited a lovely waterfall. They did their best to avoid slipping on the slick rocks and fresh mud and had to tuck their muumuus into shorts to avoid tripping on their colorful frocks.
The next Beer Check was at Whore’n/Knuckles’ place. As the Pack began to trickle in, the sky opened, and the muumuus magically turned into wet tee shirts. It was a little later than intended, so as Eagles began to arrive, it was recommended to avoid the remaining Eagle Trail unless they were faster and intended to run since walking it would have been cutting it too close. Once everyone had cleared that Check and were headed On-Home, the rest of us made our way back to await Circle.
Some of the Eagles decided to just go for it, so they took off into the rain and descended into the drain. Along the way, Nasty slipped and hit his knee on a submerged rock, which left a human-bite-mark-shaped bruise. At first, the runoff was ankle-deep, but quickly became chest-high. Their impromptu swim through the overflow alternated between the chilly water and occasional pockets of suspiciously warm water. They also sloshed through the tunnel where a waterfall of rainwater was gushing down from above in a steady roar.
Hilariously, even after all the time spent with their impromptu 2-mile detour, they still ended up making it On-Home with plenty of time. There were still a few who hadn’t arrived back yet, but we kept an eye out and soon enough we spotted the DFLs.
As we waited for festivities to begin, F4 presented a bountiful tray of her fresh, moist muffs to stuff for her patch challenge. Several takers accepted the challenge and scored her sweet patch.
Then our Stunt Ra, Diddy Kong Micro Dong, announced that Circle would commence in 69 seconds. The Pack charged their vessels and did their best to gather under the tiny gazebo and avoid the sheets of rain overhead while Diddy welcomed our Visitor and multitude of Returners.
Then it was time to bring for the the Hares! They were honored for providing such a wet, muddy Trail with unbelievably fabulous libations.
Several Hashers were then brought forth to be honored. Head was honored with a Year of Haring and presented a custom embroidered hat. ManShatten Project was honored for 25 Hares. Thank you both for all the amazing Trails you’ve laid for us wanks! Keep ‘em cumming!
Cum On I Wanna Lay Ya and Master Debater completed 15 Aloha Hashes and were artfully streamered. Master’s streamer was anchored with a massive chink of ice that was yanked from front to back, which looked delightful.
Our resident chicken patrol, Just Maka, was also streamered for their sixth Aloha hash! There were other names on the streamers list, including Titless, who had just completed his 6th Aloha hash! One of Us! One of Us! Wait…
In other honors, Darby and MonoRailMe were honored for their 2-year anniversary and Party Foul for her birthday. 2 Knuckles also found a sweet beach ball and vape as Trail Treasure.
Lastly, Head called up all the moms into Circle and presented them all with fresh flowers.
Then it was accusation time! Our visitor, Ballzheimers, was accused of borrowing a muumuu from Laa-Laa, but then leaving it out in the rain instead of wearing it. (Shame, shame!) Diddy engaged in banantics and was awarded with a rather impressive knot on his shin. (Honorable mention to Nasty Gash, with his bite mark!) Shut The was called out for yeeting the poor dog uphill, but he was astonishingly absent at Circle, so PI stepped in as Stunt STFU. Eagles were called out for taking a 2-mile detour on Trail, despite their making record time to make up for it.
That out of the way, it was finally Hashit time! Kitty brought forth the Hashit and presented the addition of a proper First Aid Kit. How very apropos, right?
There were plenty of nominations this time! Wet & Dirty was accused of presenting the RA sheet with intentional errors, but she defended herself and said that it was Titless who altered the doc after all. Our Stunt RA, Diddy, was blamed for the insane weather that always occurs whenever Circle is at that spot. Overachiever Undercummer was called out for being super late and being less than truthful about it. After a quick debate, it was decided that Titless was the most Hashit-worthy, and he stepped forward to claim the prized possession.
Soon after, Circle was closed, the On-Afters location was announced and the Pack dispersed. Wet and hungry, we made our way to the designated watering hole and were less than surprised to see absolutely no one else there. A moment later, PI arrived and after surveying the crowded room and live music, we opted to try our luck at a place next door. That place was packed and the one next to that had a birthday party happening, so at that point, we all decided to bounce. Cause every Mother’s Day needs a mother’s night, but we didn’t want to spend it by waiting for a table to open up.
To all you Mother Lovers out there,
Happy Mother’s Day!