Hash Trash AH3 #1745
The Three Dicks Trail
Hares:
Peter Beater Ant Feeder
Dr. Teenee Weenee
Diddy Kong MD
So, there I was…
From the perspective of the Hare.
The day started at 9:30am. The plan – one that we got to “eventually” – was that all three of the Hares would lay Eagle / Super Turkey and then Teenee would break off at the head of the Flume (1st beer check) and go out to lay Turkey.
There had been comments from a previous hash that “it’s not a real hash if there aren’t checks”.. well, the hares listened and delivered. Checks, on checks, on checks.
There were checks on trail where the “fork” converged back together less than 30ft from where it split (yes, each ‘wrong fork’ had a pointless bad-trail mark ) , there were checks with checks right after, and there were even checks on trail where there was no where to go but straight.. All getting the hounds used to going straight.. until of course a real check was laid and going straight let the hounds to a nice little YBF at the bottom of a hill.. or down long pointless paths to no-where.
Eventually the Super Turkeys and Eagles arrived to a split offering an Extra-Credit path to the right and a True-Trail arrow pointing left. The Extra Credit led to a massive, thick, long shaft that was once used as an ammo bunker.
Those brave enough to enter the small glory hole into the bunker could walk quite some way to the center where the tunnel branched 4 directions. Those with a keen eye may have even spotted a couple places where the hares “corrected” some “art” left on the wall to make it more hash-friendly. Most who ventured into this long creepy tunnel went as a group, and yet only one Taco was brave (crazy?) enough to explore it by herself.
Back on true trail, and finally after we had our 1.5 miles of jungle fun, the Eagles and Super Turkeys would meet up with the Turkeys (who happily skipped all this check laden tom-foolery) at the head of the Flume for a much needed beer check.
From there, the pack marched along the flume, over ‘punji sticks’, and under fallen trees, following orange ribbon left by Peter..
Now, could an experienced hound have found their way using the ancient art of “tracking” by following the trail of ‘punji’ sticks, broken branches, fallen leaves, and fresh dirt? Yes. Would Teenee have preferred that.. probably. But Peter had lots of new ribbon and was excited to use it – and use it he did!
Orange ribbon led the pack along the flume ridge, sometimes into the flume, back onto the ridge, and sometimes below it through shiggy and mud and past a weird “beaver dam” looking spot in a state with no beavers.. at least, not the kind you’d want to find.
A short while later, the pack would climb down into the flume, and up a ditch, using it as access up onto the cliff face that would lead them to a ground-up paved road overgrown with grass and trees.
The road led to the secret bunker; one very easily missed if it weren’t for ribbon and flour – in fact, the hares missed it a couple times themselves scouting and laying trail, making it that much more of a fun discovery!
The entrance was marked with a beautiful green glow-in-the-dark chalk true-trail penis-arrow and the pack got to explore it to their heart’s content. The ruling it still out on asbestos, but we did try to mark it “asbestos” we could.
Once out of the bunker and slightly down the road, the pack would stumble upon their 2nd beer check overlooking a neighborhood below.
The Super Turkeys could then “make a life decision” as to whether they would remain a Super Turkey having come this far and join their fellow Turkeys on-up and on-home, or take flight and become an Eagle, scaling down the cliff face of arid rock and dirt, down a rope, past an angry Ken & Karen who were angry there were people 20ft above them on “their private mountain”, and back into the flume.
Most dared to take the path of an Eagle. This part of the flume was the most overgrown and “lost to time”, with the hares easily putting 25+ hours of work on this section alone.
There were steep cliff faces, landslides marked with a “No-No” (Teenee and Peter actually used this as an egress spot at one point ), plenty of trail treasure, awesome views, an out of place “cock-pit”, and a 200+ ft extension cord that would have lead down to another ‘Extra Credit’ shot check had the Hares planned better.
Finally, the Eagles would pop out adjacent the highway, make their way up a water runoff ditch, down into a dam, into Mililani Mauka District Park for circle.
Somehow, no one died, no cops were called, only mild impaling was experienced (causing an impromptu naming), and several hashers even expressed how much they genuinely enjoyed trail.
On Afters followed at Taps and Apps for good beer, delicious pupus, and hearty laughs.
On-On!
-Peter Beater Ant Feeder