Aloha H3 Hash Trash #1807
“World Peace Through Beer”
October 18th, 2025
Hares:
Ole Hump
All I Need Is Cock
Taco Tuesday
Start: Maunalua Bay Beach Park
So no shit, there we were!
Gathered round another one of Hawaii’s finest under-construction parking lots waiting for chalk talk to kick off while Teenee was schmoozing some of the fine older ladies that happened upon the Aloha H3.
Ole Hump called forth the Virgins and Visitors and shared some of the new marks that the hounds would find on trail today before promising plenty of shade on this flat easy trail and running off with his team of eager hares.
Without our Songmeister, Teenee appointed Peter Beater to lead the Hash in our warm up song so of course, it was all about BANANAS! Mostly because that’s the quickest and easiest one to do. After our quick rendition to warm up and laugh, Peter explained that there would be trivia on trail today and free drinks from “South America” at start for all to enjoy while completing their trivia cards.
WALKING! Teenee shouted, while half the pack was still trying to fill out their cards and think back to 5th grade social-studies to answer questions about the Bill of Rights.. meanwhile, some of the older members had left quite some time before that – (leaving intersections unsolved along the way.. thanks).. The pack departed and soon the FRB’s were FRB’ing their hearts out on the long windy intersection-laden pavement between start and the first beer check.
Taco Tuesday was discovered sitting peacefully at the first beer check; North America! Offering new trivia cards and a selection of beers from the Great North (Canada), the US, and Mexico (which few Americans realize is still in North America).
Trail continued across the soccer fields and then sent Eagles up a handful of ungodly steep roadways to the trailhead. Turkeys cut out a small portion of that up, but were faced with an equally as up stretch of pavement to the same trailhead. Surely Turkeys were cursing under their breath, or what little they had left, in order to make it to the next beer check.
The flags of Europe were strung around beer check 2, with All I Need is Cock handing out drinks from around Europe and another set of trivia cards to complete. Eagles were then sent up towards the ridge line while Turkeys were sent back to Taco Tuesday to enjoy more refreshments.
The Eagles continued up, with many stopping to catch their breath or rest their heavy legs. As the FRBs crest the top, one received a call from Dr. Teenee Weenee, asking them to bring back a trivia card from beer check #2. Not only no, but HELL NO – they laughed. But it was okay, Teenee knew he could rely on PI who had probably just about now arrived to beer check #2. Sounds like the foreshadowing of a hash shit nomination “to-me to-me”.
The Eagles continued along the ridge line, their legs constantly being battered and beaten by dry unforgiving branches. Shiggy socks could not save you here. Up and down again they continued, waving at beer check #1 from the ridge line, taking a Bootyfull view snapshot, and working their way down to Beer Check #3 where Ole Hump had plenty of beers from Asia to hand out and the final trivia card.
After a bit of a rest, the pack departed for ON HOME.
Back at the parking lot, snacks were setup and beer coolers opened for the start of circle. Our virgins were welcomed once again and shown how to do a proper down-down, and our visitors honored us by performing what is probably our first totally alcohol free group down-down.
The Hares soon announced the winners of the trivia, with Fee coming in 3rd place and winning a patch and a prize, Kitty coming in 2nd place and winning a patch and a prize, and Digging taking the win, earning a patch and a large bottle of something tasty. Huzzah!
Just then, Wet&Dirty jumped in with gifts from her European travels, handing Dr. Teenee Weenee a bottle shaped like a Teenee Weenee, and handing other members of the kennel small patches, shirts, and goodies. Much rejoicing!!
Taco Tuesday and Princess Footlong were called up and awarded with Super Hare Patches – because without hares you can’t have a trail, and without a trail you can’t have a hash. Honors to you both!
Then came the night’s main event, Catcher In The Thighs was called up for his 69th streamer! Peter Beater and Ole Hump inverted him while Just Gabby streamered Catcher back to front – painfully. She pulled, yanked, and tugged and the streamer didn’t budge, the sound of ripping fabric barely being drown out by Catcher’s screams. Laughter resounded as she finally managed to work it out between those clenched buns and tie it around his head. HEAD?! WHO SAID HEAD?!
Plenty of accusations were passed around until it was time for nominations for the Hash Shit. Abra was called forth for calling members in their mid-30s “old enough to be her grandparents” (I still feel this one in my lower back, thanks) and Teenee being called forth for trying to persuade the FRBs to turn around and bring him a trivia card. Of course, PI piled one because sure enough, Teenee had called him too!
Surprisingly, the hares were not called forth for missing drinks from Africa, Australia, and Antarctica, but hey – what do you expect from half minds? Probably the first World Peace Through Beer without those giant blue or green cans of Fosters!
Our first vote was close, with a revote being called, and Teenee ultimately edging out Abra by a couple boisterous cheers! The Hash Shit was proven drinkable once more and after a quick rendition of Swing Low, the Hash left in peace.
ON-ON
🐜