Aloha H3 Hash Trash #1808
“Halloween Pub Crawl”
October 25th, 2025
Hares: �
Double Dipped Tip
Fee Fi Fo F*ck
Diddy Kong MD
So, no shit, there we were, and yes, I’ma tell you about it muthafakahs…
A couple dozen hashers gathered in full costume (most of us anyway) ready to take on the Hash-o-ween pub crawl in Waikiki a full week before actual Halloween. Except, “SURPRISE, beotches! We’re crawlin’ through Ala Moana!” The hares – Nacho Mama’s Hot Sauce, Pink Taco, and A Bottle of Regret AKA Tequila requested a 6.9 hash minutes head… who said head?!… start as they were setting trail LIVE *gasp!*
The hares laid a winding path to the first stop on their trail of deceit… Irish Rose!… incidentally the birthplace of Fee Fi Fo F*ck at last year’s pub crawl. The hare’s arrival was much to the delight of the lone muggle sitting at the bar. So much so that she “rang the bell” and bought the hares their first round… which included the first pitcher of beer for the pack. LOL, well played Pink Taco, well played!
After downing their libations, the Pink Taco and the Bottle of Regret set out to make their way to the next stop leaving behind Nacho Mama’s Hot Sauce to wrangle the pack after the allotted time. More on that later… Eventually the pack left the Rose and followed the marks to the next spot where they found the hares had quite literally opened Pandora’s Box… errrr, I mean… Pandora Café. Once the barkeep figured out how to work the register, the libations started flowing and there was much rejoicing from the pack.
With the hares satisfied that the pack had all been served, the Taco and the Regret once again set out to mark the way, leaving behind Hot Sauce to wrangle the crowd. Back to that… it was at this point that Sauce summoned the spirit of Hash-o-weens past, AKA the Ghost of Titless, and ordered a round of Doo-Dooooo-Dooo-Dooo-Doo-Dooo (aka Fireball shots) and thus began the de-volution of the pack. Unaware of the hashenanigans occurring behind them, the Taco and the Regret set a meandering trail through the Ala Moana mall arriving at stop #3 – the Lucky Strike!
Eventually all of the pack reconvened at the Lucky Strike and once Regret begrudgingly slugged the remainder of her tasty beverage, they were once again off to find their way to the 4th and final stop. Cue another round of Fireball. Along the way to the next stop, the hares’ hashy-sense must’ve kicked in, as they left the pack an unadvertised Wiener check at the hot dog stand at the beginning of the Hilton boardwalk. Several hashers solved the Wiener check but, unwisely, many did not.
After a hot minute, the pack arrived at stop #4… everyone correctly solved the Mai Tai check and found their way to the Barefoot Bar. If you’ve never had a Barefoot Bar Mai Tai here’s the basic recipe – 2 oz white rum, 2 oz gold rum, a splash of pineapple, a splash of OJ, 2 more oz of dark rum, 3.5 cubes of ice, one cherry and an inedible flower. In case you need that translated, it’s like 94% rum. A tall glass of straight liquor is the perfect way to end a 2.5 hour pub crawl… amirite? While at the Barefoot Bar, International Dicklomat lived up to his hash name and acquired a stunning piece of trail treasure, a 6ft tall hulking Aussie hasher, who goes by the name Joker … and convinced him to join us!
The pack eventually waddled its way back to the start, where the stunt Chip Monk had provided an abundance of much needed pizza and snacks. Circle was held together as well as any 3-ring drunken shit-show post-pub crawl circle could be. The aforementioned Joker who bore a striking (read, not really but, eh, close enough) resemblance to Nacho Mama’s Hot Sauce was called into be a Stunt Hare for Nacho who had fallen victim to the (self-induced) wrath of the Fireball/ Mai Tai one-two sucker punch. The reason he was being called into circle was definitely “lost in translation” but he rolled with it and was regaled with songs shitting on the Aussies and lots of cold bevvies. Crazy Whorez was awarded the Hash Shit, though no one really remembers why. That said, she was ELATED to receive her major award.
Circle was closed with the pack slurring its way through Swing Low and with that we were On-On to next week’s trail, #1809!
As written by DDT!