Aloha H3 Hash Trash #1814 – Moana Valley
November 22nd, 2025
Hares: Maca, Tummy Sticks, Just Kristen and Just “Maca’s Sister”
Start: Mānoa District Park
So no shit, there we were!
The kennel met at Mānoa District Park and had a sinking feeling they’d be running up to the trail ahead.. Sure enough, as the hares were called in for Hare lies, they offered the Turkeys a ride and told the Eagles to get right f*cked!
The Eagles departed up the ever rising road ahead of them as Turkeys comfortably made their way a mile or two up the way. Eagles made it to the trail just as the Turkeys were making their way through the brush, presumably either skipping or having already seen the falls and circling back. Eagles continued on, continuously remarking, “I don’t remember Mānoa falls having so much up…” Eventually the Eagles found themselves in front of the falls, only interrupted by Tummy Sticks at the top of the falls waving them up.
Eagles circled back and attempted to find where they went “off trail”. Several different paths were taken; some on trail, others off, and even some self-discovered, all ultimately leading to an absurdly low and narrow hole in the fencing.. Sighs, groans, and expletives were shared as the hounds doffed their gear and Army crawled through the mud under the fence. F*CK YOU HARES..
The trail from this point was a real challenge, using tree roots and anything else to climb nearly vertical up the mountain ahead… Finally, the hounds made it to the upper chain netting and bounced their way towards the noise of the falls. Carefully, each hasher made their way over the slick rocks between the netting and the pools to find Tummy and a backpack full of sweet sweet beer!
While the hounds admired the view, took a couple bootyful views themselves, and talked story, one hasher decided to make his way on-out, slipping and stopping himself with a lucky grab nearly 1 single foot, or less, from falling completely over the falls.. Only uncomfortable laughter could be shared as each and every hound thereafter made their way, so decisively and deliberately, back towards the metal netting and ON OUT.
The Eagles would finally make their way all the way down and back to where they first saw the Turkeys going into the brush.. They made their way up and up some more, passing Turkeys on the way, who told them the waterfall is nearby.
At the second waterfall, the hare told the Eagles to follow the Turkey trail ON HOME, because it would be too dark to make it to the 3rd waterfall.. Undeterred, the Eagles chose to follow the trail as laid anyway.. Or at least, some of them did. Others were too stupid and just followed the half-lost half-mind in front of them.
Align the way, incredibly steep and muddy cliff faces lay ahead.. With hashers deciding to simply let ‘Jesus take the wheel’ and sliding some 20 to 25 feet down along the mud to a river bed below, where they stumbled upon one strange white duck swimming by his lonesome. This was dubbed the magical duck of the forest. Trust us, it was quite out of place.
Darkness quickly started to set in, as the hounds made their way through the bamboo forest and up towards the sound of falling water. Laughter could be heard, and as the hounds crested the hill, they saw Diddy and Four Ways. WHAT?! They had apparently gotten lost (because of course) and somehow made their way to the 3rd fall, and only the 3rd fall.
The hounds gladly partook in the refreshing “bidet” as Diddy called it, a shallow waterfall recliner that helped soothe sore feet and aching backs.. Before Peter proclaimed they had maybe 15 minutes left of sunlight, and about an hour or so to get back.
Soon it was pitch dark, with most of us just following the one cell phone light ahead of us and the sound of Diddy somewhere in between. Once we finally emerged from the bamboo forest and onto the maintenance road, Kitty took off running and several hounds followed.
A rescue vehicle waited at the exit of the trail to bus hashers back to the start of trail, though several hounds decided that since they’ve come this far, they may as well finish the 1.5 miles remaining.
Back at circle, Fee once again has pizzas delivered and an assortment of snacks and beer laid waiting for the VERY hungry hounds. White Boy provided makeshift showers for the mud caked Eagles. Much appreciated.
With beer drank and full bellies, the hash enjoyed the festivities, accused one another of silly antics, awarded the hash shit, sang swin low, and left in peace!
ON-ON
🐜