Aloha H3 Hash Trash #1818 – The Best Trail of the Year (So Far)
January 3rd, 2026
Hares: Geck Ho, Nasty Gash, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, All I Need Is Cock
Start: Aiea Loop Trail
So no shit, there we were!
Finding ourselves back at a very family starting spot – the top of Aiea loop trail!
Chickens roamed the venue, with a half rooster missing his entire tail, left eye, and comb.. Of course, he got the most attention and extra crackers while others were chased away to give him time to partake, considering he had been bullied. We have a soft spot for chickens, since IF YOU LOOK AT ME, A CHICKEN YOU WILL SEE! Lol, I digress.
Teenee gathered the Hares, who ominously were absolutely CAKED in mud and blew them off with a short “15” (yeah right) minute head start. The hares surprised the kennel running down hill instead of into the trail head as expected.
Soon after the hounds followed suit, making their way down the roadway, past a pair of abandoned white mud-caked shoes, and into the camp site under construction. It was almost immediately apparent where all the mud had come from the moment they stepped foot on trail. Every inch of trail was covered in 1-2 inches of slick red Earth mud.. Making every step a real effort and balance an almost impossibility. It was going to be an experience today..
Trail continued onwards in the usual fashion, with the Eagles taking small detours up through the trees and back down onto the trail and Turkeys following true trail along the loop.
Soon they came across Geck Ho who offered them shots aplenty and a beautiful view, before sending them back on trail towards Peter Beater.
When the pack did stumble upon him, they saw him sitting with a smile on his face. Eagles go down and Turkeys around, he said – with a bottle of pineapple and rum mixed drink in his hand for all to partake. Decisions were made here, with those daring enough diving down deep into the crash site jungle below, following newly laid bio-tape and advice NOT to just follow the older orange plastic flagging tape. Turkeys, smartly continued on the trail head.
The Eagles made their way through dense shiggy, under vines and thicket, up and over or crouched under fallen trees and slimy logs, passing small pieces of wreckage and treasure trail alike, until finally making their way to the riverbed below where a WALL of red bio-tape met them ON RIGHT. Why? Because the orange tape on left would have taken them to another trail that.. But not one from anytime recently.
Eagles followed the red bio-tape crossing over the river, side to side several times before trail came to an abrupt end.. Some Eagles scratched their heads before realizing the tape led them nearly straight up. As they collected themselves, they took a breath and made their way ON UP..Step by step, grabbing hold of anything and everything to hopefully help them up this ridiculously steep incline, covered in thick vines, fern, and fallen trees.
At the top, Peter Beater once again welcomed our fearless Eagles with more pineapple rum and smiles.
With all of that nonsense behind them, they continued on, mostly skating over the mud towards the next beer check, where Nasty Gash offered cold beer and beautiful views in front of a really neat curved tree.
Shortly thereafter, hounds would find an intersection, with some being led to the Summit Trail (No Exit), and even further for those half-minds who can’t take a hint, two BAD TRAIL marks.
About 30 minutes or so later, and after the least graceful fall a virgin has ever taken (saved the beer though – woohoo!!) trail finally made it to All I Need Is Cock who offered more beer and a chance for these now exhausted hounds and hares to regroup and rest. With most beers drank, aside from two halvsies that were abandoned (WTF?!) everyone was ON HOME.
Circle commenced with the usual shenanigans, and the centurions getting to teach our young virgin the proper way to do a Down Down and welcome him to his Mother Kennel. With snacks eaten and beer drank, accusations dodged and accepted, and honors all around, the kennel joined once again in Swing Low, and left in peace!
ON-ON
🐜