Hash Trash

Hash Trash AH3 #1757

Two Out of Three Hash

Hares:
Teenee Weenee
Peter Beater Ant Feeder

So, there I was… 

The pack immediately knew this was going to be another riveting Teenee trail, since before we could even get to the start, Teenee had us walking uphill to chalk talk! 

Chalk talk kicked off on time for once, eagerly led by Dr. Teenee Weenee himself! The marks were presented to the kennel and a couple new marks were shown off, to include one rarely seen “RG”. While many names were creatively discussed about the meaning of “RG”, Teenee explained it meant Regroup! Which only really applied to those pesky FRBs who would inevitably beat any hare trying to bring beer to the RG beercheck. 

Teenee went onto explain that on trail the pack would see all colors of ribbon. Blue ribbon, red ribbon, orange and yellow, and maybe even some pink… but that none of them were markings for today’s trail. Only flour was used on today’s trail and therefore only flour should be followed. 

And with that, Teenee prematurely released the pack with no headstart, almost forgetting to get blown off! Thankfully, Gex was there to bestow this blessing and the pack was ready to go! … Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1756

Halloween Pub Crawl

Hares:  
Whack Ah Hoe
96 Superhole
Geckho

So, there I was…

A slow but eventual mighty start to the Halloween pub crawl. 

With only five or so of us at hard rock at 1 pm, we were starting to get worried but finally, the hash came out. Not as many as we expected but still a mighty group. 

Definitely got quite a few chuckles with Nas T in his T. rex costume. Gotta honor the commitment! 

There was some looming rainy weather in the forecast and Diddy vowed to get the hash wet but alas, was all talk as the weather actually fared well during trail. 

A slightly suspect chalk talk ensued in an alley way adjacent Hard Rock and soon, hares away! 

The first stop was Maui Brewing Company. The hares caused some initial confusion with their “on in” mark. “We’re done already?!” But we knew it was too soon. We enjoyed some local brews and then on to the next one. 

The hash soon traveled to Tapas where some of the kennel enjoyed some baseball and watching and watching W&D, Thunder and just-Richard engage in some mega Jenga.

The next stop was the Kuhio food court.… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1755

World Peace Through Beer

Hares:
Jefe Lingua
Pipe Cleaner
Tummy Sticks 
Nadia Cum n Eat Me
96 Super Hole
Whack Ah Hoe
Mammwich

So, there I was… 

It was the World Peace Through Beer Hash and there was much rejoicing as the pack got ready to depart on their adventure through the seven continents enjoying different beers from around the globe! 

With Hares away and a couple FRBs sneaking a head-start, 96 SuperHole had just barely thrown down her cooler of beer and declared this Beer Check in the name of North America as the first thirsty hounds arrived! And what country had the distinct honor of representing North America, but our friendly neighbors to the north, Canada! 96 offered us bottles of Moosehead Lager, but without a bottle opener, we momentarily thought the worst. Thankfully, Burning Ring was there to teach us how to adapt and overcome, using one moosehead to open another. Huzzah! 

From North America there was a long, confusing, and arduous hike up to one peak and across to another. The marks stopped atop the first peak and the pack wandered around lost for far too long, before Burning Ring forged courageously ahead to the second peak.… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1754

Navy Birthday Hash

Hares:
Nasty Gash
Geck Ho
Peter Beater Ant Feeder
Owl Fucker
Catcher In The Thighs
Princess Footlong
White Boy
99 Problems

So, there I was…

Another blazing hot Hawaiian Hashing-day, but on this day the Hares promised to cook up a Hash that gave everyone a little taste (and smell) of what it’s like to be in the Navy!

Nasty had longed to do a Hash on Ford Island, but since that takes work (gross), decided Sand Island was the next best thing!

Hashers started to arrive and engage in preLube festivities as our visitors and others riffled through the Habadashery and got ready for chalk talk.

Thunder then decided to get the show on the road and called the pack together to go over marks that could be seen on trail and gather lies from the Hares! The Frigates (Turkeys) and Battleships (Eagles) were promised smooth sailing, calm seas, sunny skies, and three port calls (BEER)!

It was then time to get Haze Gray and underway, as these Navy ‘SailHares’ were blown off (Underway – Shift Colors) and set out to lay marks and man the beer-checks!

With a full load of Seamen now blown off, Cadbury led the Hash in a warmup of a Chicken Dance to pay our respects to our visiting Hasher, Cock Chaser, and once everyone was sufficiently warmed up and limbered, they set off!… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1753

The OctoBEERfest Hash

Hares:
Parentis Interruptus
Hello Shaved Kitty
Torque and Lick Me
Master Splinter Bater

So, there I was…

The pack was gathering at the start, paying their dues, prelubing from the down-down cooler, and anxiously awaiting chalk-talk for this 2pm start… and as we looked around and the time ticked away, 2:00, 2:10, 2:20 . . . not a hare in sight. Good thing we started early!

Finally, the hares arrived packed tightly in what, but an automobile! As they piled out, the pack circled up for chalk talk, with PI and Kitty discussing ‘most’ of the marks that would be seen today and PI warning all present of what lay ahead.

GeckHo blew off the hares and reiterated chalk talk for our ‘one and a half’ virgins present before Diddy led the pack in a long-lost warmup song, teaching the virgins the true meaning of the days of the week! Saturday is a Hashin’ Day after all!

After we were sufficiently warmed up and limber, it was WALKING time! Whistles sounded and the pack made their way ON-OUT. The pavement was laden with checks and Peter Beater successfully found all the ‘Bad Trail’ marks (for quality assurance purposes of course), only almost getting hit by traffic twice.… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1752

New Mismanagement Trail

Hares:
Whack-A-Ho
96 SuperHole
Diddy Kong MD
Fee Fi Fo Fuck
Torque and Lick Me

So, there I was…

It was another hot trail in Ewa as the Hash gathered at One’ula Beach Park. It was supposed to be a Misman led trail, but twas Whack-A-Ho who was left running the show with most of misman either physically MIA (boo) or present, but mentally MIA like the half-minds they truly are.

As other half-minds arrived, Whack-A-Hoe was no where to be found. The pack anxious gathered into a cluster, anxiously waiting to pay hash cash and wondering about today’s trail, with our HashCash and lead Hare Whack-A-Ho still off somewhere, presumably laying trail. Mass chaos ensued. Then HUZZAH, Wack-A-Ho finally arrives! Wet&Dirty and Whack-A-Ho conduct a quick change over and Whack-A-Ho is thrust into collecting payment

Eventually we get around to doing Chalk Talk, snap a quick group photo, and blow Whack-A-Ho and the other half-mind hares off and away!

Torque and Fee Fi set off to the first beer check at the end of Pupu St. and set up along a rocky beach. They weren’t there long until they were joined by others at the beach.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 # 1751

The Erections Hash

Hares: Hello Shaved Kitty, ThunderDrunk, Wet & Dirty

So, there I was…

As we arrived to the park and feverishly looked for a parking spot, it was clear that it was going to be quite a crowded affair. Apparently, there was a softball tournament happening where we’d initially planned to gather, so we ended up much farther away, but this turned out to be far better, anyhow.

This was the one day a year that some of our long, lost Hashers come out of the woodwork and graced us with their long-awaited return. In honor of Erections, several Hashers donned their Vote for Pedro, I mean Penis, shirts. It was nice to see everyone getting into the spirit of things and showing interest in the event. Now, I can’t be sure, but I may have heard someone say,
“Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.”

Once everyone had checked in with Hash Cash, the Hares provided a quick Chalk Talk for the Pack, and Virgins were given a run-down of what all those weird marks were all about before Hare were away. Soon enough, the Pack set out in search of the Beer!… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 #1750

The Hash Like a Pirate Hash

Hares: Double Dipped Tip, Nasty Gash, Taco Tuesday 

Ahoy!

So, there I was…

This being National Talk Like a Pirate Day, it seemed only fitting that the Crew don proper attire to set out a ‘plundering. With a Shiggy Level of 2.5 and a stern warning to the Crew, thar be no way this peg leg was going to attempt that voyage. We scallywags gathered in the lot just outside the pier and warily peered over at the close-by British Royal Navy frigates. Surely, our group wouldn’t draw attention and activate the flashing blue sails, would we? Not this lot of ruffians…

Not long after, the sole Hare left waiting for the Crew gave careful instructions on how to navigate their voyage. Instructions were simple- follow the flour, chalk, and pink/orange tape. However, if they find the stick with 3 pieces of tape, they be fucked. Lastly, thar be plenty of booty to be found on Trail! Savvy? Formalities out of the way, Captain Nasty Gash hastily set sail.

The Crew took off soon after and set out down a paved road, then continued for a good long while, up a steep hill, then back down.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 #1749

The Bizarro Hash

Hares: ThunderDrunk, Wet & Dirty, Peter Beater Ant Feeder

So, there I was…

The Pack gathered in an all-too-familiar place and most of us knew what to expect as we checked in with Hash Cash. Once someone paid their fees, they were given a shiny new name tag that boasted their Bizarro name. In some cases, it was somewhat opposite their Hash name, but others were a nod to other events or personality traits. This was no exception, with the reappearance of The Mayor of Kailua (Mr. Mayor, Sir!) along with new monikers like Mermaid Man, Harlot in the Rye, All Roads Lead to Kitchen, Bigus Dickus, and Mr. Luigi Mega Penis.

In honor of the innately backwards nature of the Bizarro Hash, everything is reversed.

Moments later, snacks and beverages were available as we awaited Circle.

Chipmonk really outdid herself this time with a ginormous meat tower and everyone was welcome to partake in the wonderous spread right away.

BeerMeister brought out the beverages and the revelry commenced. Once everyone had a chance to grab a snack and charge their Vessel, it was time to kick things off and Circle began!

There was no movie set being erected this time, so at least we weren’t dealing with a film crew hovering with equipment cases or ducking under cranes as we sang our most colorful songs mere feet away.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 # 1748

Labor Day Campout

Hares: Pipe Cleaner, Peter Beater, Hello Shaved Kitty

So, there I was…

At long last, Campout time had finally arrived! We’d just seem the end of one nasty little weather system and another was making its presence known as we made the drive through Waianae. At least the sky was finally clearing as we drove those last few miles.

We were the first to arrive and camp and got right to work pitching a tent. It was erected quickly, much to my satisfaction. Camp was right along the water, separated by a short, rocky path, but at least there were no hills to deal with. We couldn’t have picked a better spot.

It began raining soon after the finished, so the windows were zipped up tight and we had to make the choice between sweltering in the now unbearably hot tent or braving the pelting rain outside. Outside, it was. It wasn’t long after that the sky finally stopped spitting and we were able to enjoy the sunshine and cool ocean breeze.

This time, we were sandwiched between two large groups. The furthest one was a lively group who seemed to really enjoy fishing and very loud music until the wee hours.… Read More