Hash Trash

Hash Trash AH3 #1747

The Two Towers Trail (aka) “Buzz Off Hares”

Hares:
Pipe Cleaner
Tummy Sticks
Peter Beater Ant Feeder
ROTC

So, there I was…
From the perspective of the Hare.

Scouting a BEEautiful trail, putting up ribbon the morning of, and partially live laying after getting blown off. We were finally giving the Turkeys a normal trail with fun things to do, places see, and a chance for the Eagles to stretch their legs.

The pack ran around a crowded park with plenty of intersections leading the FRBs down long dead ends. Dollops of flower laid led the way, barely visible on the grass all the way to the dog park for a ROTC BEEr check!

Ribbon was then adopted, leading the pack through tall shiggy, to the abandoned guard towers and repurposed missile bunkers, then over to an emptied water tower giving the pack a chance to to participate in an echo check and shot check manned by Tummy.

As the Eagles and Turkeys split ways, the hash went from good to great. Turkeys lost the marks as the crowd at the park grew and tents were set up over marks and children blended our flour with their chalk drawings.… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1746

The Rocks-Off Hash

Hares:
Digging For Love
Tummy Sticks
Peter Beater Ant Feeder
Pipe Cleaner

So, there I was…
From the perspective of the Hare.

There are very few trails that I have felt “scared” on. This was one of them. Thankfully, after doing it enough times (and by enough I mean way too many) I finally got over that fear (mostly), or at the very least (more honestly let’s say) got a lot better at ignoring that voice in my head and wanting to involuntarily pee

The trail began with a shuttle to B, where the hares took the pack up a cliff-face full of shifty volcanic rock and shin high grass just tall enough so you never knew if you were stepping on or in-between a rock. It was a miracle everyone walked away without joining the BOOT BRIGADE, but alas, another week without a serious injury. Thankfully the hares came to their senses and significantly shortened this route a day or two prior to trail.

Finally, once up on the ridge, it was (mostly) smooth sailing and BEER! The turkeys went a ways, did a few makeshift switchbacks down onto flat ground, and made their way through the tall shiggy to the riverbed and finally to another beer check in a culvert before making their way on home!… Read More

Hash Trash AH3 #1745

The Three Dicks Trail

Hares:
Peter Beater Ant Feeder
Dr. Teenee Weenee
Diddy Kong MD

So, there I was…
From the perspective of the Hare.

The day started at 9:30am. The plan – one that we got to “eventually” – was that all three of the Hares would lay Eagle / Super Turkey and then Teenee would break off at the head of the Flume (1st beer check) and go out to lay Turkey.

There had been comments from a previous hash that “it’s not a real hash if there aren’t checks”.. well, the hares listened and delivered. Checks, on checks, on checks.

There were checks on trail where the “fork” converged back together less than 30ft from where it split (yes, each ‘wrong fork’ had a pointless bad-trail mark ) , there were checks with checks right after, and there were even checks on trail where there was no where to go but straight.. All getting the hounds used to going straight.. until of course a real check was laid and going straight let the hounds to a nice little YBF at the bottom of a hill.. or down long pointless paths to no-where.

Eventually the Super Turkeys and Eagles arrived to a split offering an Extra-Credit path to the right and a True-Trail arrow pointing left.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3

BYOE Dicklomat Trail

Hares: International Dicklomat and Peter Beater Ant Feeder

So, there I was…

On this fabulous day, most of the Pack was away at some far off, not-a-real-place location called Volcano, but a handful of loyal Wanks were ready to hit the North Shore! As our tiny group of 11 gathered, we had a chance to meet a few new faces- 3 new Transplants and one Visitor. Our Hares, Dicklomat and Peter Beater, gave a quick Chalk Talk and reminded everyone that it was a BYOE Hash and that they were welcome to bring roadies. Dicklomat also provided pre-game waters to everyone so they’d stay hydrated along the way. We blew the Hares off and the Pack soon followed.

Peter Beater, Taco Tuesday and I Auto-Hashed to his Beer Check, where we set up behind a large tree. As we sat waiting, we had delicious Mai Tais with fresh pineapple and re-applied bug spray every few minutes because those suckers just kept on cumming. Dicklomat mentioned that it may be a couple hours before the pack would make their way to the Beer Check because they’d be spending a lot of time on the sand and along the beach first and he wasn’t wrong.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 #1743

Gispert’s Birthday Hash

Hares: ThunderDrunk, Just Paige, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, and Dr. Teenee Weenee

So, there I was…

Once a year, we Hashers around the world honor our founding (Hash) father Gispert on his birthday. This year, Aloha H3 marked this occasion with a Trail promising both high elevation and great distance. We made our way to Chalk Talk, where our Hares made a point to emphasize the need to only do Eagle if they felt capable if going at a faster pace and could handle the elevation. Once the Hares were certain everyone heard their instructions and understood the assignment, we blew them off and followed shortly after.

Eagles and Turkeys headed to the Trailhead and headfirst into the Shiggy, but several of us decided to take the long path down to the Chicken Check. The trek all the way to that location was absolutely exhausting and we weren’t sure we’d have enough energy to make it back, so we took our time and hydrated a little extra, just to be sure. Finally, we finished our drinks before No-No’ing back to On-Start.

As we were sitting around waiting for Circle and enjoying icy beverages, we learned (while scrolling on Facebook) that Laa-Laa and Trail Taco got married that morning!… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3

The Angels and Devils Hash

Hares: Diddy Kong MD, Fee Fi Fo Fuck, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, & Taco Tuesday

So, there I was…

As we pulled up to the park, we saw a decent number of Hashers wearing red or white shirts to honor the Angels and Devils theme. Suddenly, a Diddy popped out from behind a vehicle and we saw he was wearing devil horns, a cape and a red shirt boasting his status as a Horny Devil. (Tell, me- what is it you truly desire?) Speaking of horny little devils, Taco Tuesday had the sexiest little flower crown with horns. Then, we saw Fee wearing a hot little tennis dress number, a halo and angel wings. Let me tell you, this angel was a centerfold! We knew we’d fit right in since Gash cut quite the devilish figure and my digs were nearly identical to Fee’s. (I was saving the best part for later, when the sun went down and the wings and halo lit up.)

Shortly after, the Pack gathered for a quick Chalk Talk. This one was going to be extra fun, with Conga Checks, where we’d have to wait for at least 2 other Hashers, then get in a line and Conga their way down the marks.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 #1741

The Amazing Race Hash

Hares: PI, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, Geck Ho, and Master Splinter-Bator

So, there I was…

After much anticipation, the day of the Amazing Race Hash had finally arrived! Last year’s event had been a huge success, and we were hoping to make this one even better. The Pack began to assemble at the park and the excitement was palpable. Everyone grabbed a beverage and all participants lined up in a row and grabbed a number from a hat. This was to help keep teams as random as possible and to ensure no Psloppy Pseconds this time, but of the six teams, two had multiple repeat members.

They were given the rule sheet with possible locations to visit, as well as a map of where to find them. There were no Trail markings to lay or follow because they would be choosing their own adventure to earn maximum points before the clock ran out. Several options gave flexibility for location or offered precious bonus points, which clever groups took advantage of later. Once we Hares finished explaining the rules, (which many claimed not to hear since absolutely no one was paying attention) we were blown off and the Pack soon followed.… Read More

Hash trash Aloha H3 #1740

July 4^th Campout Hash

Hares: Hello Shaved Kitty, All You Need is Head, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, Laa-Laa

So, there I was…

We arrived at Camp and chose a spot high up on the hill, a littler further from the Trailhead this time. (That was our first mistake.) It was a decent spot that was relatively flat, although not exactly level. (Error #2.) It was close to the vehicles and the terrain was ideal for pulling the cart up and down, but it was 10 miles form the bathroom. (On a roll here, huh? My decision-making skills were on fire.) It wasn’t long before Nasty Gash had our tent pitched and we were able to relax.

Others began arriving, including the long-awaited return of Cocktoberfest! We all cracked open beverages and drank the evening away. There was another chance to earn a ThunderDrunk patch.

Nocturnal brought his pizza oven and created the most phenomenal pies for us late into the night Friday and Saturday, but light of a headlamp. Several of us burnt out mouths and hands because we couldn’t wait to eat it, temperature be damned.

CocktoberFest left his bones lying around on Friday night (among other things) and I swiped them to see how long it would take to notice.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 # 1739

The Pride Hash

Hares: All You Need is Head, Parentis Interruptus, Dicklomat, Gayfully Employed and Friends

So, there I was…

Several of us pre-gamed at a lively spot known for their small, but mighty pitchers of Mai Tais and we grabbed a quick snack to preempt the immanent booze. Little did we know…

Soon enough, it was time to head to On-Start. A quick glance around at the colorful attire assured us that we’d understood the assignment. There more rainbows than a box of Lucky Charms and we started things out by getting properly lei’d. Glorious Jell-O shots were provided, and we had a little pre-game entertainment when ROTC was reunited with her forgotten shoes, and she sat on the ice block that they were held captive in. Our rather large group finally gathered around for Chalk Talk and a quick group photo and then we hit the Trail!

The Pack streamed through the park and shortly arrived at the first Check. There were more Jell-O shots on the sand and then we were back on our way. We made our way along the seawall, seeing a BN just before popping into the park and back onto the road.… Read More

Hash Trash Aloha H3 # 1738

The Tutu Hash

Hares: 4 Ways to Italy, Wee Wee and Just Liam

So, there I was…

It was a gorgeous day for a Hash, and we arrived with energy to spare and just couldn’t wait to hit the Trail. This being the 22^nd of the month, it was only fitting for the theme to involve tutus and the Pack did not disappoint! There were rainbows, neon, patriotic, goth and even fruit-laden tutus!

Before Chalk Talk, we met a group of LARPers who were packing up from a tournament. One walked over with a Truly and asked what fun activities we had planned. We explained a bit about what we do and talked about our shared love for dressing up while engaging in shenanigans and just knew they were our people. They must have felt the same way, because they gifted enormous dragon heads to Tummy and Peter Beater. We made sure they had our website and told them to join us next time they weren’t busy slaying dragons.

Then it was time for Chalk Talk! PI gave a rundown for our Virgins and let them know what to expect along the way. The Nocturnal snapped a group photo and a few moments later, it was tie to go find the Hares!… Read More